Overwhelming College

I’m going to continue on my last blog about being overwhelmed—because I am still overwhelmed. Except, this time it’s for different reasons. I’m perfectly healthy now-- except for sleep deprivation, but that’s pretty much a constant at any given point in the school year. This time, it’s college that’s piled on top of my usual school and rehearsal routine that’s my problem. 

Most of the time I’d call myself a pretty strong person—emotionally at least. I’m usually able to stay calm in crisis, keep a cool head when things are presently hectic-- stuff like that. And, for the most part, I’m still doing that now. I’ve never, however, been in a situation where the stakes were so high. I’m realizing I can’t neglect any part in my life right now and still find my life okay in the future-- not even a little bit. I can’t neglect my school work for a bit to focus on college, because colleges will want to see current grades at some point. I can’t neglect theatre for a day or two, because next week is tech week (you all should come and see Arsenic and Old Lace, BTW), and in this show I’m a lead. I can’t neglect sleep, because if I do then I’ll be dragging my drowsy self throughout the entire day and my productivity will go down. And, I can’t neglect college stuff, because—well, if I do then I’ll just make my future much harder. I’d have to work extra hard to get into colleges with aid and scholarships if I don’t apply before November 1 (the early action period, before regular decision). 

The college process is a lot different than I imagined. I thought that once senior year hit, it would be college, college, college for everyone-- with the only talk being college and the only priority being college. It’s not like that at all. College is just lurking in the background. Occasionally the topic of teacher recs come up, or college essays, but everyone is just going through school like normal. Maybe everyone is just in denial of it. After all, it is deciding how we’re going to spend the next four years of our lives we’re talking about here. It’s so in the background that I still feel like I have loads of time to get everything done. In reality, I’m taking my second (and hopefully last) SAT on Saturday in hopes to get a score high enough to qualify for more scholarships-- and I haven’t started studying for it yet. On top of that, the deadline for asking for teacher recs is on Monday, and I have yet to ask any of my teachers. I have one month to write five or six essays. I have one month to decide what I want to do with my life. I wish college was more in my face. Honestly, that would make it so much easier. I wouldn’t be able to push all of it to the back corners of my mind.